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Larry’s First Joke
Larry’s first joke bombs in a way that defies the very laws of math, physics, space and time. Hear about Larry using the LMDS motto for the first time. He also takes a bold stance AGAINST flying planes by committee. And learn what a “dental chart club” is. How much can you pay for a mediocre breakfast in a New York City hotel? You could buy a month’s worth of Dunkin’ Donuts for that money, that’s all we’re saying. Larry talks about to having nothing but respect for France and nothing but love for Old Spice. And speaking of toiletries, we get an update on the five bar soap parlay.…
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Does He Drink Coffee?
An update on the five soap bar parlay, AKA the fivefecta — the feat that has everyone from international diplomats to toothbrush re-bristlers on pins and needles awaiting news. The bold stroke of derring-do that makes Ernest Shackleton look like a wino taking a nap in a hammock. Speaking of Ernest Shackleton, Larry firmly cops to not caring for boats, while stopping just short of saying exactly why. Hear Larry defend Barry Bonds then compare him to Babe Ruth. And he ain’t talking about home runs. Learn which Greek mythological figure Larry currently resembles. And no, smart guy, it’s not Dionysus. This week’s show has most baffling show title to…
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I Love A Buffet And Other Life Lessons
Buffet, as a concept, is the one thing that ties all Americans together, so says Larry. Also hear how Larry taught his son a valuable life lesson with his favorite instructional tool — a pie. (Who are we kidding? Larry’s favorite everything is a pie.) Larry talks about the lengths he’d go to in order to save his wife’s life and why that answer isn’t good enough for her. Get introduced to the latest food measuring increment. Not the cup, not the liter, but the bucket. Find out why Larry’s great great Grandmother stopped speaking to his great great Grandfather — for 62 years. Larry admits to being lured into…
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Larry’s Five Soap Bar Parlay!
Hear the most erudite vomiting analogy ever. And learn the tale behind the enigmatic expression “Chicken Larry.” On this week’s show, Larry unabashedly professes his love for being in a marching band. He also discusses more about being “Dad cheap.” Find out what personal hygiene item in Larry’s home most resembles an Aztec pyramid. Fortune cookies stink. This bat’s getting rusty. Are you a cardinal? Even if you’re not, you will learn that in Larry’s world, “power booting” has nothing to do with restarting a computer. Larry admits he doesn’t mind cleaning up baby vomit, but he’s not so enamored by the barf of people in the studio. Make sure…
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